Well isn't this a bloody mess?

You leave for a while and some gremlin comes in and messes the place up! I guess I need to call one of my smart friends to assist in this housecleaning effort. For my part I'll merely place the blame on Blogger and appeal to your altruistic natures to get out a broom and shovel here.

I have indeed been much absent here of late obviously. I could bore you all to tears and recount the trials and tribulations of the past few months, but I'll spare you the indignity of a blow by blow report. Let it suffice to say matters both professional and personal have kept me quite occupied in both the physical and mental sense.

And in truth I've withdrawn somewhat these last few months for other reasons. For one I genuinely wonder what, if anything, this exercise in vanity is accomplishing. Other than to give me a place to vent. Also, given my general disgust with the world as a whole here of late I felt any commentary would lend itself to nothing more than bitter words thrown against an increasingly uncivil world. And frankly that's nothing I feel I need to be a party to. For my own mental health if nothing else.

Mental candy in the form of harmless escape I suppose can be found on Facebook- which is fine! I really think we all need a bit of that every day to help keep us from going barking mad. But on that subject I have to admit I find some uncomfortable associations (I think Cowbell and Sage probably genuinely understand this) that have been created. On the one hand it has been nice to reconnect with any number of people. On the other hand what the fuck kind of trauma turned some of them in to right wing conservatives? Let's face it, with exceptions, most conservatives may well be perfectly sane people individually. The problems only seem to start much as it does with dogs- they start running in a pack and they turn feral on you. Be that as it may- saying Hi is one thing, catching up is fine, but there are some parts of my life I care not to share with those folks. The nom de plume in this venue has it's reasons.

So I guess I dismantle it or fix it and resume as before and come what may. Or come up with another alternative. I expect I'd better sit myself down for a little talking to.

Carry on with the rest of your day people, be nice to each other out there.

The loss of another great.

Yet another monumental talent has passed. The amazing Merce Cunningham has passed on, arguably the greatest living choreographer in the world peacefully departed Sunday at the age of Ninety. Having danced into his 70's and having remained active in his art as a teacher and choreographer up until the time of his death, the dance world is a little dimmer today without his genius.

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RIP Koko

The world has lost yet another great, the fabulous Koko Taylor. The world is a bit dimmer today minus her talent and huge heart. And Madge, Britney and the rest of you wanna be divas, Koko was a Diva and did it the right way.

Me memed

Both my dear Elizabeth and darling friend Wills tagged me for this one. As we all know I rarely play along on these, spoiled sport that I am, but after a fashion I expect it may perhaps be a good way to return to blogging. I have been much absent due to various obligations and frankly since my dear friend died I’ve really more or less had my head up my ass. I’m still not 100% sure whether it’s the loss of a friend of nearly 30 years or my reaction to my anger with his family. Perhaps equal measures of both.

Anyway, on to the part where I bore you all to tears…

Meme Rules:

1. Respond and rework. Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention; add a question of your own.


2. Tag eight other un-tagged people.

So here goes!

1. What is your current obsession?

Finding the perfect dress for my 30th reunion. You know, the one that makes your ex boyfriends want to drink poison and the former snotty cheerleaders seethe. Fixing the current front lawn debacle. Finding 10 or so extra hours in a week.


2. What do you see outside your window?

Out front- a mess of epic proportion. Out back- a genuinely stunning view of the mountains. I presume you can figure out which one I’m currently ignoring.

3. If you could have any super power what would it be?

Teleportation.


4. Which animal would you be?

A Siberian Tiger.


5. Who was the last person you hugged?

My son.



6. What is your favorite color?

Red.


7. What’s your favorite food in the whole world?

A perfect Vicksburg sandwich, closely followed by foie gras.


8. What’s the last thing you bought?

Literally- gas. Last thing I bought for myself was a very hot pair of sandals that I doubt I’ll ever get to wear this summer given the ghastly weather.


9. What are you listening to right now?

My son bouncing a soccer ball against the side of the house, the washer running, the gears grinding in my husband’s head as he tries to figure out how to fix the disaster he’s created in the front lawn and Little Feat.


10. If you could quit one bad habit, what would it be?

Smoking.


11. What’s on your beside table?

A really swell lamp (yes Wills with a red shantung shade), a stack of books, an alarm clock, a water glass and probably a fair amount of dust.


12. If you could have a house totally paid for, and fully furnished, anywhere in the world, where would it be?

The Côte d'Azur, but Belize wouldn't suck either.



13. What would you like to have in your hands right now?

A ticket to Rome. Or a winning Mega Millions ticket, then I could actually afford the trip to Rome and take Tate and Tony with me.


14. What was your favorite children's book?

A Little Princess by Frances Hodgeson Burnett

15. What is your biggest fear/phobia?

Roller coasters, they totally freak me out.


16. What's the dumbest thing you've done in the past year?

Left my husband alone with a bulldozer.


17. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

Chicago, to hug someone I love very much and tell him everything really will be fine one day soon.


18. What did you want to become as a small child?

An actress or a princess. No not the Disney variety- as in for real, like Princess Grace, she fascinated me. Oddly I just wanted the wardrobe and the real estate, didn’t much care about the Prince part of the equation.


19. What posters/pictures do you have on your bedroom wall?

None actually. I have part of my kimono and obi collection hanging instead.



20. What is your plan for tomorrow?

Get the kids to school on time, get to work on time, try and catch up on an insane amount of paperwork, have lunch with my sister, get home in time to get the family fed and get the Hurricane to a band concert by 7:15. Dang, I’m sure I’m forgetting something in there.


21. What was your first job?

Dishwasher, busgirl, scullery maid and prep cook at my parent’s restaurants.

22. Say something to the person/s who tagged you:

Liz- if we put both our lives in a blender we’d have a truly classic southern gothic novel on our hands. You can work on that once you finish the other two. Wills, I am so very, very happy you’ve become a part of my life.


23.Post a favorite childhood photograph of yourself.

Not precisely my favorite, I think it’s in a box at my brother’s with a few thousand other ones. But I was pretty cute before I could talk.





I'm not going to tag anyone, but childhood photos of Tate and Tony would be fun :)

RIP

The legendary and talented Ekaterina Maximova passed today, the world is a bit dimmer indeed.

With her legendary partner and husband Vladimir Vasiliev. Not the best of video quality, but it makes me smile to see them when they were young in one of my favorite ballets.

Random hilarity

For no reason other than the fact that I really needed a laugh. OK, I admit I actually do love Elmo too. And Ricky Gervais, his David Brent really was genius.

I could be wrong.

I frequently am..

Let’s have a hypothetical (not) scenario, shall we? You have a couple that married, produced a child and than divorced. You later remarried and ostenisibly your son was integrated into this “blended family”.

Your son however states to his close friends more than once (over a couple of decades) that he has “”the family I was born with and the one I chose.” Humm…

Your son spends nearly every holiday, his birthday and his vacations with his chosen family- not you. Humm.. Except for Grandma, because she’s cool like that.

Your son is dying and the people that got him into an experimental treatment protocol, praying they could save him, and the people that were there dealing with the doctors and held his hand as he slipped away were his “chosen” family- not his blood relations. Humm…

A “Mother” that goes on a cruise while her son is in the hospital is not a Mother.

A “Father” that has to delay a funeral because he has to work it into his schedule is not a Father. (Especially if you’re Jewish- that’s just disrespectful.)

And now suddenly the chosen family isn’t “good enough” to participate in the memorial.

Would that not tell you that you are beyond fucked up? But that’s just my opinion. Perhaps I’m being unduly harsh, I can be like that, I can be a judgmental bitch that way,

Can't shake the sad today.

A very old and dear friend died last night. It was a blessing. The pain was great and he'd suffered long enough. I was looking through some old pictures in order to find a few for a friend that's putting together something for the funeral services and I couldn't decide if I wanted to laugh or keep crying.

The hysterical picture of the two of us when I was just about to have Miss Thing standing in front of the ice cream shop in Arlington I used to love made me bust out laughing. He went to the OB often enough with me that the nurses were very confused as to who the father actually was...

One of a drunken evening at our old apartment with the woman he should have married, that made me ever so sad...

A lot of years. A whole lot of years. He liked to claim he introduced the Beast and I. Not really, I actually picked the Beast up in a bar, but I always told him I'd be happy to blame him if he really wanted me to.

Farewell and godspeed old friend. I'll never be able to go down to the river without thinking of you. Rest well.

Random Thursday Video

Primarily because I was just in the mood for Rosie Ledet this morning.



Have a lovely Thursday, carry on with whatever you were doing.

Clara is just too adorable!

I know everyone has seen this dear sweet grandma-

But Clara makes me smile. And makes me glad I actually paid attention when both my Grandmothers told me their depression stories, and later during my starving early twenties, taught me more than a few things about living on the cheap.

Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler Y'all!

Have an excellent Fat Tuesday people.

And mainly because I love Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys- just hard to find a good video.

Well that was awfully nice-

Buddyboy hit town and we managed to get together for linner (that would be way too late for lunch and too early for dinner) and were joined by two excellent friends a bit later on. All in all it was a lovely visit, we yakked on and on and caught up. Considering how often we text, email or call you'd think that would be somewhat unnecessary. Well actually it isn't.

Managed to also grab coffee this morning before he had to make himself scarce, which was also good. While every moment was genuinely lovely, we were both still a little sad remembering again how hard it's been not seeing one another all the time. The food was great, the wine as well, the conversation amazing and hysterical as always, and the hugs were the absolute best. But having to say goodbye still does make both of us rather sad still to this day. We both tear up a little when we say goodbye, but don't flat out cry like we used to. That's progress.

But on the whole I'd rather have a friend that finishes my thoughts, makes me laugh hysterically and always knows whats in my heart be a bit too far away than not have one at all...

I'm a lucky, lucky person to have such an amazing person as a friend.

Chapter 1: Wherein our heroine unwittingly steps into a parallel universe. And does not like it one bit.

In this parallel reality she finds her son, the typical messy unkempt 11 year old boy, has turned into a creature who not only bathes regularly without prompting, but suddenly is channeling his inner Hedi Slimane. And to add insult to injury is fielding calls from multiple girls for hours on end each evening. But luckily remains sweet and cuddly and remembers to tell his Mom he loves her at least five times a day.

Her husband, the man who is generally oblivious, up and made dinner reservations. On his own. With absolutely no prompting. And chose an absolutely fabulous restaurant- on his own. This from the man that could care less about food and thinks the entire concept of a tasting menu is moronic and given the choice would rather be eating at Gracie’s Diner. She ponders the import on the assumption he's banking brownie points for something really, really bad.

Her daughter, the self directed straight A student, who has never given her parents a moment of anything resembling real trouble in her nearly 17 years, pulled a C as her final in Spanish. This is not a letter of the alphabet that has ever been sighted on an actual report card. She simply didn’t bother with trivialities like homework for that class. And to further add insult to injury said child has decided that the favored class for the repeat performance is going to be AP Calculus. Oh great, please do pick the one that counts for college credit!! Upon being confronted, the obstinate teen declares the world is going to hell in a hand basket , all she has to look forward to is a life of corporate servitude and she really doesn’t give a damn about anything. At which point our heroine comes to the thundering realization she’s really fucked this up- but simply can’t put her finger on what precisely and realizes she has no idea how to go about fixing this one. And she really, really wishes to find the exit to her actual universe posthaste.

Let the lawsuits begin!

I'm not normally a litigious sort, but it this case I think it's warranted.


That really has to be one of the more morally repugnant things I can recall reading about recently- and it hasn't exactly been a slow news month in that regard y'all.

Merely trying to be helpful.

Dear Blonde lady in the lavender Escalade,

As you were very obviously in a terrible hurry to get to a no doubt crucial appointment concerning the transition or the stimulus package or some such, I wanted to take a small moment to bring a little matter to your attention that I’m sure you were too busy to take note of.

When you swerved over into my lane and nearly hit the car in front of me as well as myself, you may not have noticed the five or six other vehicles that also narrowly avoided a large and dangerous pile up. And when you essentially slammed on your brakes to make that right into the nice gated community, this did rather make the rest of us somewhat uncomfortable.

On behalf of the others involved in this incident, as well as myself, I’d like to offer a small primer, if you will, regarding announcing your intentions to those around you whilst behind the wheel.

I would suggest the following instructions be followed in a nice safe place like your driveway, with the vehicle in park. Once you are seated, you will observe in front of you the steering wheel- this is the thing you place the hand that doesn’t currently contain your cell phone or lipstick on. Good. Now if you look carefully to the left- the left side is the side where the hand that has excessively the large diamond on it is- there is a thing sticking out of the wheel on that side. This is called either a turn signal or an indicator, because it announces your intention to turn your vehicle to other drivers. Clever, no? Now push down on it, hear the clicking sound? Excellent! You just communicated that you are going to turn left (ring side, remember?) now if you push it upwards you’ll hear the same clicking sound and it tells others you mean to turn right (that’s the side where your purse is sitting dear) and then back to the middle.

Like any new skill this can be no doubt daunting, but I have full confidence that with practice you’ll have it down in no time! And if I may, one more small matter. The small child that was roaming about the back end that got slammed into the window when this occurred may well have sustained minor head trauma, you may want someone to take a look at that. In the future you can save yourself the inconvenience of having your child’s head x-rayed if you utilize the seat belts the nice car manufacturers put in the vehicle. Just a thought.

Kindest regards,

Dora Smith Long

For mindless super entertainment powers

And because the second try got the "Meaty Glorious Samurai" Huh? Just wish there was a better selection of accessories. Guess I'll have to check in with Marvel and see what they have going on.

Have some mindless fun y'all, it's Friday!!

This is soooo not good...

My cell phone had a SIM card crash. Who the hell knew such a thing could happen?? OK I'm sure that would be everyone but me. Aside from the fact that the nearest store for replacement is very, very geographically inconvienent, my address book is toast. This really, terminally sucks. Yes I know my own fault for not backing the phone up better, blah blah blah...

Five years of phone numbers- poof!

Umm, feel free to email your numbers - you know who you are.

Sucks, sucks, sucks!

Hey, Ticketmaster! Know what??

You can kiss my ass!! I have had it with you people! But I for once got the upper hand, so there!

Monday at 9:55 I log on and prepare to purchase some Springsteen tickets, at 10:00 your server goes haywire- yet again. I’m sure y’all had no idea (since it’s happened a thousand times before) that many thousands of people were going to hit you for tickets at that precise moment. At 10:10 when I finally get processed into the queue, your system tells me there’s nothing left but points me to your sister site Tickets Now or whatever it is, that lo and behold DOES have tickets- at twice to four times the venue price. You’re assholes.

In frustration I go back to the home page and note that he’s playing at UVA- the John Paul Jones Arena is actually a really nice venue- about a third of the size of he Verizon Center or any of the others so I got my self on over to the UVA web site and purchased (without any hassle at all) excellent seats in a much better venue for fair market price. Another good reason for Miss Thing to attend Mr. Jefferson's University, they get awesome concerts and I'd get student rates.

So y’all can pound sand, this is the umteenth time you’ve nailed me this way, and it ain’t gonna happen again.

Hell hath no fury-

Like an 11 year old boy denied a snow day after the first really good sledding snow of the year fell the night before…

The reaction was decidedly NOT pretty, I can assure you.

Just because

I love Lucinda Williams-



Y'all have a lovely weekend. carry on.

Hola!

Yes, they let us back across the border, imagine that...

Just a quick hey y'all to the one or two people that would be concerned if we had been incarcerated at the airport. The proverbial good time was had by all, the scuba diving was quite good, the ruins were epic, the sand sandy and the sun sunny- all in all an excellent trip. Just wanted to share a quick story that really struck me.

On the morning of the inauguration the boys had booked some windsurfing lessons, as the Hurricane really was dying to go, and Tuesday was more or less our one relax and chill day. Miss Thing and I were no way in hell going to miss the swearing in and had assumed it would be CNN in the room. Hell no! Here I was in Mexico, at a resort mostly frequented by nice folks from Europe and South America and they showed it in it's entirety on the big ass wide screen in the lobby bar and also live at the theater on a full sized cinema screen. I opted for the bar. Sue me, I was on vacation people...

So here we sit, in a bar in Mexico watching an American President taking the oath of office. Which in and of itself was somewhat surreal, I can assure you. Things were just getting started and the lovely bartender, who by then knew me well- probably due to my propensity to tip heavily, hands me a bottle of champagne and two glasses. I guess I must have given him a slightly startled look and he just smiled and said "Congratulations!"

As President Obama put his hand on the bible the place literally stopped. Waiters, bartenders, bellmen, tourists- damn near everyone was rooted in place. I admit, I teared up when the oath was taken and my heart felt so much lighter and hopeful. And then a very strange thing happened. All of these people erupted in spontanious cheers and clapping. People started congratulating the few Americans there, smiling, hugging and laughing. Complete strangers, most of whom were not my fellow countrymen, were celebrating this moment. I must say, it really does give me hope for the future, something I have been sorely lacking these last few years.

Here's to hope my friends! It's going to be a tough row to hoe and perhaps people might have finally realized it's going to take all of us to get through it.

Now I really need to go start on the laundry and go to the grocery- back to reality.

See y'all later- be safe!

Why not?

The conversation went something like this:


The Beast- The weather's really getting bad. Let's go to Mexico.

Me-OK honey, my S.A.D. is getting bad- April, May, when?

Him- I was thinking next week. You hate this time of year.

Me- Huh?

Him- No -really, fuck it let's just go.

Me- Umm, really? Next week?

Him- What the hell, whatever -let's just go.

Me- OK- Honey some people just do this sort of shit at the spur of the moment. We aren't those people. Those people only exist on TV.

Him- Next week we are those people.

Me- OK, works for me. Are you sure about this? It's a little crazy.

Him- We've earned a little crazy the last few months don't you think? And this way I don't have to hear you whine about packing your butt into a bathing suit for three months. Everyone wins.

Me- I'll go get some fresh sunscreen tomorrow.



See y'all when we get back from the Riviera Maya..

" See the footage of the rare, venomous mammal"

Rare footage of one of the world's most strange and elusive mammals has been captured by scientists.

Large, and with a long, thin snout, the Hispaniolan solenodon resembles an overgrown shrew; it can inject passing prey with a venom-loaded bite.

Oh really?

Please, Ann Coulter isn't that elusive guys- seriously. And come on, the only venomous mammal? Are we forgetting Michelle Malkin?

When I grow up...

I want to be Helen.

If I play my cards right I may be a quarter as amazing, which is still pretty damn good.

Now, back to whatever you were doing.