I’ve been in a bit of a vile mood the past few weeks. Winter and I never did get on well, but as I less than gracefully slide into my middle years, it’s gotten worse. The ennui of the past summer is back, and along with it a nasty disposition. I really am a pretty even-tempered person as a rule, but I find myself looking in the mirror wondering who in the hell is that woman looking back at me? Things that would normally merely irritate me are really pissing me off.
Case in point- I received an automated phone call from the high school last week, kindly letting me know the date we have to cough up the cash for Miss Thing’s school ring. I was mildly annoyed. Two hours later I receive a call from the guidance department. Miss Thing came home Friday before last with a handwritten URL for the state Governor’s School and proceeds to say, “Mom, they gave me this and told me I should let them know if we’re interested in applying.” Well yes dear, I looked at the start of school and applications weren’t available yet, please get me the information… Time goes by, no info forthcoming. Therefore last Friday I call and leave a message for the counselor. She calls back. The child’s PSAT scores (they had 10 graders take it this year as a practice run) were one of the highest in the county. OK, so you people can call me to remind me to send a check in for a class ring, but no one thought THIS might actually be fucking important enough to warrant a call? I was not amused.. Deadline for said application was today. Great. Spent the weekend dealing with the application, getting the kid to make with the essay bit and so on and so forth. Draft a note to the nice teachers that I’ll have to politely request to drop whatever else they are doing so letters of recommendation can be done to go with the application by midweek. Sunday after it was all done I snapped. I went off- at myself. Dogs, kids and spouse all scattered, as the times I have actually completely lost it can be counted on one hand- but damn they are memorable.
We live in a very small county and the gifted program is grossly under funded. We made the choice some years back to not push the issue of having her “identified” for multiple reasons. One, there really was no advantage to having the resources used, as she was already in accelerated classes and this process would genuinely do little more than that. Two, I figured if being top of your class, coming up in the 98th percentile of every standard test you’ve administered to her and generally excelling academically since kindergarten wasn’t enough of a clue for you people, well screw you. We’ve paid for all of her outside enrichment programs ourselves and would have anyway. See, my stubborn screw you attitude was the root of this little fiasco. Had she been ‘identified” and on the list, we’d have gotten notification long ago as to deadlines and such. My menopausal Alzheimer’s caused it as well, if you’re going to take a screw you attitude, you’d better be prepared to do your own leg work. Had I any sense I’d have checked back once a week for deadlines and application information. I really think I need to get away for a couple of days- I don’t much care for my own company at the moment. But thanks, I feel a little better since I got that out of my system.
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21 comments:
I'm glad we are here for you. You needed to get all that blecky shit out. You are obviously madly in love with your husband and kids, and are doing a wonderful job raising them all. Shit happens, and errors occur, we learn, we vent, we move on. I sure am hoping you will be vacationing in New York this May! You know where to find me if you feel like screaming; I'm very patient. So glad to hear from you, I was beginning to get concerned.
Tate- I need a big 'ole gay slumber party to chase the uglies away! Don't know about the wonderful job, but I expect they won't need long term therapy once they're grown.
Yup. Sounds like that big gay slumber party can't come soon enough.
Did that sound dirty?
It's always the worst when your pissed at yourself. Deep breaths. If you've only lost it that few times then I think you need to give yourself a pat on the back. Meltdowns were a daily occurrence in our house when I was growing up.
I hope you feel better and just keep thinking about the big gay slumber party.
Oh, and Hat, yeah, that did sound dirty. Good girl!
Reading this felt very familiar, as your story echos the choices my parents struggled with while I was growing up.
Like you, they were concerned about the net effect of placing a label of gifted onto a child. Often the reality of that label translates as "other" and that was their concern. The one piece of advice they were given consistently was that the outcome has little to do with preparation before post secondary, and much to do with normal and consistent socialization, so when a post secondary level is reached, there is a healthy, integrated person ready for it.
While no one knows exactly, and each specific case is different, I imagine your daughter will excel wherever she is schooled, as your parenting seems to have taken care of the other requirements quite nicely.
With all due respect, give yourself a break :)
"..She calls back. The child’s PSAT scores (they had 10 graders take it this year as a practice run) were one of the highest in the county. OK, so you people can call me to remind me to send a check in for a class ring, but no one thought THIS might actually be fucking important enough to warrant a call?..
Embrace your pissed-offed-ness,get to know it,make it your friend!
Sometimes,you just gotta bitch slap someone.
you're getting off easy with the ring. i'm paying for a field trip to europe and they're not even visiting dresden.
Hat- yes, and yes!
Tony- I really do try not to lose my shit either around or at my kids.. frankly no one wants to be a party to that kind of crap- I had enough of that growing up and remember all to well how unpleasant it can be, even if it's not directed at you.
Al- I'm pretty well convinced the kids will go forth and kick ass and take names. I have always abhorred those parents that go on and on about their perfect children- ever noticed those are the ones that we hear about in the news 20 years later??
Sling- I'm pretty good at the bitch slap, and have no problem dishing it out.. I just know this was something I ultimately caused, as annoyed as I want to get at anyone else about it, it does come down to me in the end.
Billy- how gauche of them!
Hey. Nice rant. I feel like calling my boys' school and bitching just for the heck of it. Keep them on their toes. But since my little darlings drug their lazy butts home with 4 C's between them yesterday, I'm thinking my rant to them and your rant to your daughter's school probably won't be on the same subject. Four C's. What the hell. That's never happened. Not since I was in school, anyway, but we're not talking about ME, are we? I guess I'd better stop now before I find myself writing a rant on your comment section about something you have no knowledge of or interest in. I'm menopausal like that, you know. lol
By the way, came here from Sling's blog....
My parents told me I was "gifted" every day until I was ten, and then for the next ten years reminded me constantly that I "wasn't living up to my potential." Not that I cared; I was having a great time.
Did somebody say big ol' gay slumber party?
Public schools. They're enough to make a saint lose it, much less a normal human mom. They require you to always be the proactive one, making sure your kid gets what s/he needs. It's a set up for inevitable occasional failure. (I speak from experience here!) Don't blame yourself for not being on top of every single little thing. Sounds like your kid's doing wonderfully well.
Like Tater I was starting to get a bit concerned there and wondering if things were okay. Got my answer. I'm not going to do the "everythings for the best in the best of all possible worlds" crap cause Tater is right: shit happens.... we move on. And I'm not sure if its the winter blues but seems a lot of us could use a big old gay slumber party.
Hat of course that sounded dirty - but then consider the audience.
And C. I'm still waiting for that photo to complete my album!!!!!!
As a side comment to Billy - they're not visiting Dresden, its the best city in Germany. Fools! Fools!
I'm with elizabeth; public school can drive you crazy. Binge on some chocolate, old movies or whatever else rings your bell. You'll feel better.
Hey Doll. Things better yet? You know you are the best, right? *smootch* I just realized I can now download movies and watch them on my phone on the way to work (train) guess I will be doing a little less reading and a little more catching up on indie movies. Well movies and catching up with people's blogs. Hope all the school shit was worked out, and that you are no longer in need of a xanax and a glass of wine.
Kari- rant away! If I can get away with it you should be able to as well. I partially blame the menopausal anyway ;)
Red- Wow, they must have borrowed the script from my parents!
Elizabeth- 'tis a frustration and a pain in my ass quite often and I just need to manage it a bit more gracefully I expect.
Wills- yep I really do just need to get over it truthfully as the reaction was somewhat out of proportion to the situation. And I told you, as soon as I find one that isn't horrible.. like from 20 years or so back?
tate- I'm more or less over it, but I'm afraid I continue to nurse a bit of a grudge with the system.
KA- You're both right and I just need to take that time out I think ;)
The PSAT is a big bug in my ass too. They do not publicize to parents that is more than just a "practice run for the SAT". It is also the indicator for the National Merit Scholar program. If your daughter is scoring that high, she may well qualify for National Merit. They have 3 "cuts", if you make it to the final cut, many colleges offer substantial scholarships for National Merit Finalists. Some even offer more limited scholarships for Semi-finalists. Even the third tier, Commended Scholars, get the bennie of being able to write that on their application, as it's a pretty good honor, and could help with the total financial aid package as well. Anyway, that test is how the Bohemian ended up with that full ride she's on. But they don't TELL parents this - it's "marketed" as just a practice run. Check it out, sounds like your daughter might well have a shot at it. The counselors have all the info.
CB- Yes we are praying our heathen asses off that next year's scores will put her in the running. My broke butt started researching scholarships when she hit about the eighth grade.. and yes it really doesn't suck on the application either. Of course the fact that she refuses to even consider a school other than UVA is another post entirely.
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