Brother #2 has been at it again. The emergency gall bladder surgery right before the holidays was very troublesome indeed. Somehow things don’t seem to be progressing quite the way they ought to.
Aside from a fresh scar to add to his rather impressive assemblage, I fear that the fun and games of the entire bypass drama made no long lasting impression on the man. That or things are just starting to slide downhill, his recalcitrant ways aside.
While not prone to superstition, I have a deep sense of foreboding every time I speak to him and I hear he’s “just not feeling right yet”. Perhaps it’s paranoia. Perhaps knowing we’ve finally come to a place where we can deal with one another as adults, not merely siblings and I fear he’s going to be taken away from me is simply my problem. But a very reckless youth and it’s damage, a stubborn disposition in middle age all seem to be closing in quickly. Perhaps something got lodged in him many years ago, having dodged death in such grandiose fashion how could something as trivial as an internal organ do him in?
I do so hope I’m terribly, terribly wrong. Because I do love his stubborn, hardheaded ass.
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16 comments:
I take it brother #2 is reluctant to modify his lifestyle to accomodate the affects of middle agedom?..Me too.
Stubborn.
Sling- You could say that..
He's driving me fucking crazy- I love him. I resent the hell out of him for not getting the message. I want him around to see the possible grand babies, mine and his. And I just want him around period-to be my huge, strong big brother that was always my anchor- that hulking rock that has always been there for me to set my sights on, no matter how far I strayed or how dumb he decided to be. Guess it's my problem, not his- huh?
If caring is a problem then yes i guess it is yours. We can't help worrying about those we love and who complete the circle of our lives.
I'm thinking good thoughts for your bro. I'm goofy enough to believe in positive vibes from total strangers can actually have a positive impact.
That's a tough one, Cuz. Especially when there are so few stubborn folks in our family tree. Ha.
Hugs, darlin'.
always leave'm wanting more. i'd like more details.
sounds like he's been the victim of a series of accidents. i hope he bounces back.
Wills- Yep, I guess I really can't help the ulcer he's giving me.
KA- I think they can! Total strangers saved Tinkerbelle after all ;)
Lorraine- I know! But it's never us women you'll notice, I mean really- look at the two of us.
Billy- I think the original post (click the link dear- if it's not working let me know) details at least the major ones. No doubt a miracle he's made it this far as it is..
I hope he starts feeling right(er) soon. As for the worry, well, my husband almost died five years ago, and I realized my rock was mortal. Worry is just part of the package deal now for me. Maybe for you too.
I'll send a little nondenominational prayer his way, and yours, and lots of good wishes.
Hey sweetie, I'm sorry you have got a case of the what if's. I still worry about losing my guy all the time, after the series of medical problems that have faced him the last couple of years. I have made the concerted effort to deal with that fear and anguish the only way I know how, and that is to enjoy the time I am granted with him. The only time I am granted is the present, the right now. I was made to realize that his presence in my life is a gift that can be taken away at any time. My memories are mine to treasure, and the only way those will be happy, is to love and cherish him today. I hope your brother, and my Jim will be around to share our lives with for a long time to come. Sending positive thought s his way (your's too, sugar).
Elizabeth- yep, I expect it's just part and parcel of the make up at the moment. And all kind blessings always gratefully taken in this household.
Tate- Thanks sweet heart. I realize I should adopt a more adult and philosophical view, I'm trying. I still want to get a step ladder, climb up on it and pop him one for not straightening up his act and behaving.
Zoinks, sorry you're going through such a rough patch? Would tough-love work at this point, or would it just piss him off?
Red- his hard headed ass is going to do what it's going to do, the rest of us just will just be there when the shit hits the fan again- sad to say. Trust me, I've tried, and I can be pretty tough. I just need to reconcile myself that it is what it is.
C-
Would he be the same person you know and love if he acted any other way? Acceptance is extremely difficult, I know, but in the end, the only person we can truly change is ourself. He is the only one that can decide to live or act differently, and you are only capable of changing your attitude towards this situation, and embracing him for who he is. That is not to say you can't bitch at him from time to time to knock sense into the bricks of his stubborn mind, but for your own sanity and serenity, you can choose not to engage in a struggle with him, and just realize that what will be will be. I hope that didn't come off as trite, I just have struggled with this shit for a few years, and it finally wore me down to the point that all I could do was leave or accept it and move on. I moved on, and it hasn't diminished the love I feel, just the anger. Love you, sis!
Coming from a family where dumbass is a genetic problem on the male side all you can do is hope he develops a little sense.
You have to also understand this is coming from a man in his 50's who just moved an office desk by himself, because he couldn't be bothered to wait for someone to help out.
Miracles do happen. My 3 pack a day sister quit smoking. I'm making an effort to quit myself. You can never tell. Sometimes when you finally give up on things as a bad job, common sense prevails.
Ewww, I hate hate hate that feeling. This is why I take tablets. Lots and lots of tablets.
I wish I had something to say that could relieve your concerns, but reality is one of those things we have little control over. What I can say from being in health care, is that the exception to the rule, while not wide spread, can and does occur. More than you would think.
I was touched by what you mentioned regarding where you are at in your relationship; that you can relate as people separate from siblings. Never having had a sibling, I'm envious of that. It sounds like it has taken a good amount of work from both of you.
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