Let the fun begin! As my dear daughter calls it- “The grand southern ritual of bread and toilet paper”. Yes folks, that nasty four letter word yours truly despises- snow.. A lot of snow coming our way. And since it likes a party it seems to have invited it’s friend sleet along .
Now I really don’t know the rituals involved in other parts of the country in respect to white and icky frozen bits falling from the sky, but around here it sets off a compulsive need in normally sane folks to charge to the grocery store and upon arrival decimate the shelves.. Especially in the bread and toilet paper departments.
Y’all, you will be able to get out tomorrow if you have to! Honest! And since we live in the damn mountains, where it indeed does snow with some regularity, I’d have expected a bit more sense. Worst I ever saw was 6 feet and we were dug out the next day, and if necessary could have made it in to town. Not on your life! The post snow grocery freak out is almost as bad as the pre game festivities.
That said, little ole me did indeed have to go to the damn store this morning. Severe dog food miscalculation on my part, damn! I try my best to avoid driving in the snow for one reason- I always get within the proximity of the guy with a big ass truck that thinks the fact he has four wheel drive makes him 7 feet tall and bullet proof on ice.. And he’s always the jackass that causes the 10-car pile up.
But since the big dog gets pretty cranky when he’s hungry, I decided I would indeed brave the insanity for his growling tummy. Also realizing the boy has no grits and if he doesn’t get grits and cheese in the morning I’ll have both of them giving me the look. I figured around 7:00AM nothing falling yet- this is manageable. What the hell, I was up and dressed anyway.
*Cue Mission Impossible music*
Grab the list off the fridge and haul it on in to town. Parking lot looks sparse- good deal! And the Beast says a grocery list arranged by aisle is anal.. hah! Since I’m there I grab the stuff I’d have gotten anyway, what the hell, why go back this weekend? Coming around the home stretch with my 15 or so items and come to a screeching halt. One register open- ONE. Shit! 10 people queued up already- damn, quick left turn into self-check out, and no line, woo hoo! I should have known it was all going too well.. I had to get the cranky scanner that forces a 10 swipe minimum per item to get it to read. Finally get out of there, toss the movies through the slot at Blockbuster, and away we go..
Within 10 minutes of my arrival home the phone rings. It’s my favorite neighbor. “I’m heading in to town, need anything while I’m there?” Yeah, a ticket to Miami or Rome please..
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21 comments:
dum dah da da da dum dah dum dum dum dah (mission impossible dum dah-ing) Glad you made it home okay, and have enough bread, tp, and dog food to see you through. Rome sounds good darlin'. I am hating my life right about now, especially the guy I am forced to shoot with today. He is a little douche bag who insists on kissing ass to the owner, all the while looking for every little excuse to run tattle on your's truly. Why can't all piss ants just die?
Up here in the land of the post modern hippie, it's bottled water and tofu, but same general effect. It's enough to make me rethink my stance on guns.
Let's both send some love our little Tater's way. Death to all piss ants!
We're getting the freezing rain, sleet mixed in with snow version of this scenario and I have a hankering for comfort food. I'm thinking lentil soup, but this will entail a trip to the supermarket for lentils. Maybe peanut butter sandwiches are the answer.
Tate- sorry honey! Just breathe and remember the annoying little shit will be gone by the end of the day. Unless of course a large heavy light tips over by accident and squashes his annoying ass..
Tony- I'm sending him a rude email every hour so he can snort every time he checks his iPhone. Well it's cassoulet for dinner tonight. The house smells divine- now if every kid in the neighborhood would quit coming in and out (and in and out) it might be rather soothing.
This might seem like an odd question,but do you have a root cellar?
In Colorado,we used to stock up on all that dog food/toilet paper/hamburger helper type stuff for just such a snowbound instance.
Sling, asking a woman over thirty ANY question pertaining to roots is grounds for a resounding bitch slap. You need to get with your gays to learn the rules.
C,
Thanks for your e-mails darling, they made me chuckle just when I was setting the stage for that "accident" you mentioned. I'll be shooting with him again tomorrow.
Sling- they really ought to build houses with root cellars these days, handy things. My own fault for getting caught flat footed on this one-
Tate- You're killing me!!! And see "great minds" and all that. Perfectly plausible scenario man, I'm sure it could happen.
Dora, the update is split pea soup! And I made it in and out of the market, using the self scan with no trouble. The supermarket gods were merciful. The real question is, why weren't there any lentils in the market?
I'll have to email the Tate and see if I can make him spray coffee out his nose, since he's working with the piss ant again.
Brrrr...
This post has me shivering, recalling my frozen youth in Michigan- the only state that can have Great Lake Effects from all four directions.
Debated going into the pool yesterday, but sat under a palm tree and read instead.
Keep warm!
Tony- operation distract Tate is indeed on today as well, have at it! Since I distracted(annoyed) him all day yesterday, may as well keep it rolling!
Jeff- that was cold man, seriously..
i totally hate snow. why sane people would spends tons of money to go up a mountain, spend a fortune on equipment, freeze, break legs and stand in line for hours waiting for a lift is beyond me.
i did this when i was younger but i wasn't sane.
lol, severe cat food miscalculations are all too familiar in my house. But hey, I can't wipe my ass with my cat so TP always wins. I haven't run out of toilet paper since the mid 90's. hmpf. And it's just that sort of glamorous image of myself that I enjoy leaving you with (:
You'd think being in Canada my fellow igloo dwellers would be used to the white stuff by now. Well, all you have to do is turn on the TV after our first snow fall when they seriously discuss calling in the army for help. Truly sad.
Billy- I have wondered about that myself quite a bit, seems rather a waste of time and money to me.
Hat- well he's a big dog, I wouldn't want to piss him off.
Al- I'm not sure if I feel better or worse knowing it's universal.
Tony- The lentils weren't there because you wanted them dear.
More snow expected today -- you got enough grits and dog food to get you by?
BTW -- you totally lucked out in the neighbor dept. I live in a rowhouse and don't know any of my neighbors well enough to either make or receive such calls. Nice to know that still happens somewhere.
Red- It's all good, purchasing less than 50lbs at a time is kind of pointless with those two ;) And the boy has grits, so we're covered.
Good neighbors are a great thing, and the ones that know bad weather is coming and call to tell you they're on the way to the liquor store just in case you needed something rock too! Time for you to have a little open house cocktail hour thing and meet the peeps honey..
Brrr... Winter. Hate it. People here do the crazed stock-up shopping too, even though we rarely get more than a few inches at a time. Even me. Because you really don't want to be stuck in a house with hungry dogs or kids, not to mention without toilet paper! Me, I'm counting the days till Spring.
Elizabeth- it can't come soon enough!
ha! I'll take one of those tickets! I had to make an emergency dog food run a couple of days ago. Another 80 pounds, please! People here will actually abandon their cars with just a couple of inches of snow. It's wild. We actually have a real cold snap here at the moment. Folks are not happy, but at least we have sun.
CB- Crazy, isn't it?? If you're that freaked out by driving in the snow, gee I don't know do something radical like STAY THE HELL HOME. Sun is always a good thing, cold or not!
Hahahahaha...it's a similar story round these parts if snow is forecast. Too many hills, no one knows how to drive in it, so at any serious prediction of snow everyone panics and lays in supplies like they're gonna be living through the Long Winter.
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