Ennui

Which is French for “I don’t currently give a shit”.. Yep that’s the word for it. Here of late I have a severe case of it. Not depressed, life isn’t awful- I just seem to be totally lacking in anything that resembles motivation, which is highly unusual for me. Here of late I look in the mirror and have no earthly idea who that woman is staring back at me. I find this most unsettling. Hell, I haven’t even bought a pair of shoes in four months, and that my friends is a record.

I had hoped it was just the dog days of summer.. not so much. I generally thrive in the heat. I wonder if I didn’t lose a bit of my identity when I ended up doing the part time working at home thing. There’s enough crap to do around the house that I’ve not had time to deal with to keep me occupied for a year easily. Getting my ass motivated to deal with it is another story. Lost my mojo somewhere along the line. Now this is not to say I’m laying about the house in a robe all day sighing deeply. Nope, get up and shower, do all the Mom stuff, house isn’t a wreck by any means.. get the part time stuff dealt with in a timely fashion- life does go on with some order more or less.

It just seems the old me isn’t really here at the moment. Perhaps she just needed a vacation. Perhaps I ought to just go with it for the moment. Or maybe I just have a case of the lazy right now. See, I can justify my way out of damn near anything. Short of working for the Shrub, I wonder if this qualifies as a job skill of some sort? Perhaps I ought to note it on my currently ignored by the hiring entities resume.

Hell- I just need to get out of the house more I expect and get over myself real quick.