Chaos. Absolute chaos. That more or less covers it. It’s been a horribly busy time the past few weeks, complicated by being rather unwell. Not full blown I can hide in bed sick, the kind of sick that allows you to remain upright and mobile, thus hindering recovery.
I’ve tried like hell to get a rather large project finished, and the deadline looms.. But I just can’t seem to get my focus fully together in order to complete the task at hand. Much to my eternal annoyance, and I daresay that of my client. And the more I stress over the impending date, the worse the lack of concentrated effort seems to become. It’s turned into some evil sort of vile back feed loop.
Brother #2 up and had a heart attack. After coming to a loving sisterly acceptance of his stubborn ways- he up and has a heart attack and then doesn’t bother to tell anyone until five days later. I was more than a little put out by this, I can assure you. Actually it was more along the lines of “What the fuck is wrong with you?? I know damn well your wife is capable of dialing a phone so, you TOLD her not to call.” I’m damn sure his best friend, his clients and the damn postman knew, but he didn’t want to call his family?? I really no longer get that man, I truly don’t and I guess it’s time to just give up trying, he’s just not right. And if you think I was pissed, the Old Fart got more than a little put out over it. I mean really, who the hell does this when they’re generally on good terms with their family? Hell who would do it if they weren’t? I just don’t get it.
The estrogen wars have heated up in rather grandiose fashion. There really ought to be some sort of natural law against puberty and menopause in the same house. You know, some sort of survival of the species mechanism that just doesn’t allow it. My normally fairly level female child has turned into someone I no longer know. While I am quite sure it’s temporary in nature, I really wish the aliens would bring her back home and take back this creature they left in her place.
To say the Beast and I have a stormy relationship is like saying it was right breezy in New Orleans the day Katrina hit.. But the storm always blows past and things go back to usual. Took a bit longer this go round.. Which in the midst of all the other shit was really not something that contributed to getting things back on track. I’m the match, he’s the gas, but in spite of it we’ve managed not to blow the joint up in 27 years. But there are those moments that I wonder what one of those lovely conflict free relationships would be like.
I have really tried to put issues in perspective, to be thankful in a genuine and encompassing way for all that I am blessed with. Sadly the current state of mental exhaustion seems to be somewhat at odds with putting matters into a nice zen-like perspective. I’d really prefer to have the old list making, getting shit done me back frankly.. I’m done whining now, y’all go back to what you were doing.
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10 comments:
I know from whence you speak -- well, about the sibling thing; not so much the husband or child thing. My father has known that he'd require open-heart surgery for about fifteen years now, and I found out about it a little more than a year ago. Not happy was I. And yet, even though the "I just didn't want to worry you" routine makes no sense, every other possible reason makes even less sense, so I guess I have to believe that they just didn't want to worry me -- oh, because it's so much better to find out on the day of? (sigh) Whatever.
Just glad you all made it through somehow and happy to see you see you pick up the quill pen again...
I know what you mean about the malaise. I am currently in the throws of the cold that won't die.
Teenage girls are a curse sent down from whatever deity you choose. I lived through it and just sent a birthday card off to the now thankfully 33 year old offspring, who has her own teenage daughter to deal with. (payback's a bitch)
I sort of sympathize with the brother, since I am reluctant to share any concerns with the biologicals.
If you and the Beast have managed this long, you should be fine. It sounds like you keep working on it, which is the important thing in the long run.
I hope things get better soon!
I'm glad you are back to your blog. I'm a firm believer in blogging therapy. Here's a virtual cup of tea, slice of pie and a hug.
I've had something similar and it's the complete pits. Just functional enough to stay standing but without two neurons in your brain to rub together. I'm just emerging from the daze....
I have relatives who pull that 'I didn't want to worry you' shit. It makes me so furious and frustrated. We're not given the opportunity to help a person we care about and we realize all our interactions with them for the past X weeks have been bull shit. But what are you going to do, right? As Red said, "(sigh) whatever."
Damn it, Sunshine! Sometimes you just have to chuck Zen out the window, and scream your lungs out a little. Preferably when others are not within earshot, as it sometimes causes the scared and quiet look in the eyes of loved ones... Brother #2 is acting a wee bit the douchebag, but there isn't a damn way to change him. I certainly would have registered my displeasure as well, and would have given his wife a very LOUD ear full.
Teen daughters? They are programmed not to get along with their mothers until they are at least one year out of the house, in a dorm room somewhere. They will tend to hero worship papa, and roll their eyes at you behind your back. Your son will repeat this performance with the Beast, and will look to you.
I can fully commiserate with you on the overload of work, honey. This weekend marks my second, seven day work week, without a day off. SUCKS. I will forget it all when we are happily traipsing around NYC...
Red- Sigh- Whatever.. that pretty much covers it. I see no logic, I genuinely do not understand it, so I expect it's time to just give up trying.
Jeff- Nice to know someone reads my drivel ;)
Tony- Is it going around or what? This shit just refuses to finish running it's course and leave me in peace. And I do love her with all my heart, but I swear I have to restrain myself more often than I like from bitch slapping her back into last week.. I know, I'm an awful mother.
KA- Thanks! Pie and hugs always gratefully accepted around here!
Elizabeth- It does make it damn near impossible to go about things in a coherent fashion, doesn't it? I'm bored with it personally. Unless I want an ulcer or a breakdown I expect I'm just going to have to adopt the Whatever mind set and let it go.
Tate- Yes, I waited till everyone was out of ear shot, as they do tend to get real freaked out if I melt down in front of them. And yes, he's being an ass, and yes I very sweetly registered my shock that she would not at least call his FATHER perhaps??
Miss Thing will come back to us one day. And thankfully she remains her old self a percentage of the time, which keeps me from duct taping her mouth shut and locking her in a closet. As to the Hurricane? Naturally dear, mini me will always be my baby, he'll just let the Beast take the brunt of his bullshit- that's when I get to point and laugh.
Repeat after me- spring is coming, spring is coming..
Alright, cuz, here's a big ass cocktail. Now sit down and let me rub your feet...
Well here I come skulking out of my cave to say I'm glad to see you're back at the keyboard with your sense of humour firmly in place. Sounds like its been a few weeks from hell.
Guess there's nothing at this point you can do about Brother #2 but worry and yeah you may take a hard line today but you know tomorrow you'll be back to worrying because you love the stupid SOB!
From what I've seen from friends the Aliens don't return the original - all you can do is look for tell-tale signs of that loving child lurking in that clone they left behind and hope there's enough there to remind you not to commit murder!
And teh Beast - hey sounds like you guys got it worked out fine. Could you imagine a relationship that was calm, cool and reasonable all the time? What the hell fun would that be?
And yes spring is definately coming!
And what the hell sort of word is hubta? that one of those Southern expressions that us cold Northerners don't get?
Lorraine- You have no idea how much i needed that..
Wills- It'll sort itself all out eventually, I'm banking on it. And for the record, give me half an hour I'm sure I could confuse the hell out of you-
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