Thursday, May 29, 2008

I'm considering Hermit as my next career..

Assumptions often annoy me. Not that y’all actually care, but a few encounters last weekend reminded me of how utterly irritating people can be when traveling. And I’m also mainly posting something so Tater will stop whining..

When I travel I tend to try and make as nice as possible with the locals. Not only is this simply common politeness, it is their home after all, but truthfully people tend to be nicer to you if you’re not behaving like a jerk. I really wish some people would return the favor.

Memorial Day weekend reminded me of why I generally hole up on the mountain and try not to venture forth unless absolutely necessary on holidays. The entire people driving like maniacs thing being one reason. I’m spoiled by living out here, as most folks generally are fairly polite drivers. You cut me off and try and kill me to get to the gas pump first, I don’t have to check your license plate honey, and I know damn well you’re not from around here.

What started this anti social rant you ask? OK, you didn’t, but I’m going to tell you anyway. Ice. Yes, a simple bag of ice. I realized that I had indeed neglected to lay in extra ice for the traditional weekend cookout. Cursing myself I get in the car and head on down the hill to the local market/gas station. On weekends it tends to get a little crazy down there as it’s right off the interstate, but holiday weekends are a real pain.

I digress.. So I park the car, get my ice and head for the counter to check out. There was a woman in front of me who was apparently lost. Carol, the very nice lady at the register, is obviously not getting through and the line is backing up so she sweetly asks if I can provide this person with directions. Sure, no problem. The woman states her destination is Washington. I inquire “Washington D.C. or Washington VA?” She looks at me as if I have two heads and then proceeds to speak to me as if I am a complete moron. Well I consider this a fairly simple question as, given the location, it could be either.. Virginia it is.. fine. I try and give her the fairly simple, straightforward directions and she keeps interrupting me and asking “Are you sure?” Lady, I have lived here sixteen years, yes I am quite sure. Not deterred she continues to be as rude and condescending as humanly possible. Finally I give up and give her the rest of the directions in French and walk away.

The moral of the story? If I hear, a Jersey accent, I am not going to automatically assume you’re an asshole. Don’t assume I’m some sort of inbred morn because I have a bit of an accent myself sister.. I don’t exactly sound like a bit character from Deliverance or something. At least I don’t think so.

Anyway, the point being bigoted assumptions are not confined to gender, race or sexual preference. There are plenty of people that assume the moment they cross the Mason-Dixon line that we’re all a bunch of stupid rednecks. And I’m not saying there aren’t any, but I don’t presume the minute I head north everyone is a rude, ill-mannered asshole- kindly return the favor.

15 comments:

Gavin said...

She was a classic douchebag. Why ask for help if you aren't going to believe what the person tells you? Ugh.

sageweb said...

You should have given her directions to Washington state. I have a problem with people who act like that. They usually get my smart assery handed to them

yellowdoggranny said...

ahh, being me...i would have finally said..'look bitch, don't talk down to me..i'm not the one who's lost'...i like being me..

evilganome said...

Ah, this post brings back many a happy childhood memory of misdirecting flatlanders who got on our nerves. They would come up to enjoy the beauties of the green mountains and gape at the inbred hillbillies.

If they were obnoxious, we would send them on a round about route that would provide them with the opportunity to enjoy some of the more scenic areas in our part of the country and amuse us in our simple rural way by driving past our house again about an hour later.

Doralong said...

Gavin- There you have it! You're so damn smart then why are you so lost??

sage- The thought crossed my mind..

Granny- I felt ending it by saying "Je comprends parfaitement où vous souhaitez aller, et si vous tournez où j'ai dit vous à vous y arriverez l'idiot !" was sufficient. Forgive me kids, my french is very, very rusty.

Tony- A time honored ritual my friend, indeed!

Kimberly Ann said...

As I was reading this, I kept thinking of that scene from Baby Boom when the big city people come and patronizingly explain marketing to Diane Keaton, thinking she is a country bumpkin not an ad whiz kid. People are so damn irritating sometimes. (I realize that if you haven't seen the movie, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about, which is in and of itself irritating, but heck, that's just me.)

billy pilgrim said...

most assholes make for good stories. your's was no exception.

Anonymous said...

Did you really break into French? Oh tell me you did. That is brilliant.

Anonymous said...

I hate that stereotype, too. And the Appalachian stereotypes.

In an only vaguely related note, once someone challenged me on my directions and I just said, "Believe it or don't, it means nothing to me." and walked away.

Doralong said...

KA- That was a cute film, and really one of her more charming performances.

Billy- They do at least contribute that, I have to grant you.

Hat- Oui. You know how I love to screw with dumb people.

Citizen- Yep, not only do we get a regional stereotype, but we're so special we have to be further subdivided..

booda baby said...

Well, I'm on the side of this episode HAD to happen in order for you to speak French, a scene that HAS to go into a movie. They write entire screenplays for moments like those and all I had to do was swing by your blog.

God, I love a good blog. Merci.

Doralong said...

Booda- yep, whilst the song from Deliverance plays, no?

Anonymous said...

Forgive me for being late, seeing as how I whined loudly at you to throw the damn party in the first place! Very enjoyable read, not that I liked your misery, it just felt better to read yours than dwell in mine. Rude people work my last fucking nerve. I would have directed her to a place where she might have actually bumped into the original cast of hillbillies from Deliverance, you know, just so she can better discern the differences between local flavored dialect, and yokel flavored dialect...

Sling said...

The telephone rings.
I reluctantly answer it,'Hello'.
First words out of the caller's mouth,'Who's this?'...I hate that!
..your story reminded me of the morons that want to take up your time,and then act as if your're incoveniencing them!..
I'm from California,so I officially have no accent whatsoever.
..fer sure.

Doralong said...

Tate- the tought indeed crossed my mind to throw an extra left in there that would have taken her and her Mercedes SUV with Jersey plates right smack into the middle of a real cultural experience back in the hollers.. But even I'm not that evil.

Sling- isn't that the most annoying thing? Like, totally dude!