Thursday, September 18, 2008

And there you have it-

My word, there’s been an awful lot going on!

Doogie Houser MD land has been most intense as I have been trying to get the big empty space stocked with all the furnishings and general stuff and training staff and trying to liaison with the EMR company from hell.. Along with a bazillion other little minor details.. My head hurts.

The family isn’t dealing with the whole Mom works half an hour away thing too well; the adjustment is proving to be most difficult. Unlike my darling Cuz Lorraine, I’m not getting quite the pitching in commitment I was lead to believe I was going to have… In his defense the shit has hit the fan for him at work, and he just doesn’t multitask..

Daddy is back in the hospital- the Doc finally came straight with me and told me he pretty much has about six months to live. The right side of my brain is in no way surprised, the left side is devastated. The number of decisions to be made are mind boggling- Unfortunately I really can’t drop this bomb on Baby Sister till next week-

Why? She’s in the most intense week of her professional life at the moment, and in spite of the fact her bosses adore her, she really has borne the brunt of the care giving and can’t take any timeout until the big bosses are gone- give it two weeks if she’s lucky.. I can’t lay that on her right now.. So Daddy goes to Rehab again and we find a good and safe place for him to go.. Neither of us can quit work to be 24/7 caregivers right now, so it is what it is..

But somehow I still feel guilty..

And thanks t o the best virtual gay posse ever for keeping me sane

9 comments:

yellowdoggranny said...

my x dil is activity director at the west rest haven(old farts home as we lovenly call it) and she says the best thing you can do sometimes is to realize your limits..and not let it destroy 2 lives..the person going into the home and yourself..you have to take care of your self to take care of them...your doing the right thing and you have nothing to feel bad or guilty about...goddess bless you ...

sageweb said...

Wow Sweetie, you have a ton going on. Sorry about your Dad, that has got to be so tough. I hope the family gets their shit together and pitch in and help you out around the house. If you need a lesbian to come whip them in to shape, put me on call.

booda baby said...

Oh Doralong, I can not believe your Daddy wants his super duper special daughter to feel anything but BIG FAT love and mouthiness and flippy red dressitude. But first, she has to take care of life business. Where is there any extra time for that ridiculous guilt shit?

Yah. I think that's what your Daddy must think.

billy pilgrim said...

when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

it looks like you've got going.

Sling said...

Damm..You have much on your plate.
It's natural to feel guilty,but you know this is a time that comes to all of us,and I wouldn't think anyone would want to pass that guilt on to their children...vicious circle and all that.

Doralong said...

Granny- The mind knows but sometimes the heart doesn't get the message, you know?

Sage- It's been interesting, to say the least. Come on out- I keep thinking you and my sister would be perfect for one another! She needs someone to straighten her ass out- darling woman, but you know how the wildly creative types sometimes lack focus?

Booda- I totally haven't the time for the guilt shit for real! Truthfully part of him does want a lack of guilt and part wants to lay it on in a major way. My own fault, you can only take a guilt trip if you buy the ticket after all.. But the cute little red cashmere shell I wore today makes things somewhat better.

Billy- oh I'm going Buddy, I'm going. The where depends on who you ask however..

Sling- I think it depends on the level of pain and the mood he's in, all of which I do try and take into account. But I do admit I am a chronic "fixer" and when I can't set all to rights I do tend to beat myself up about it. I reckon I have no one to blame but myself.

evilganome said...

Girlfriend, there is only so much you can do and honestly, you and your sister have really done all you can! I'm sorry to hear your dad is headed downhill, but I also think that you and your sister cannot provide the type of care he will need from here on in.

You should both be patting yourself on all you've managed to do to keep him happy in his old farthood.

Now the best way you can take care of him is to leave it to the professionals.

Kimberly Ann said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. No wisdom here, but my thoughts are with you.

more cowbell said...

I'm just seeing this, due to non-blogging, but I'm really sorry to hear this, girl.