Not that anyone actually cares, but it’s been quite the busy couple of weeks at Casa de Locos. Let’s recap the high points, shall we?
The crazy neighbor had the final court date. The judge (finally) found her in contempt of the last court order and gave her 6 months- suspended. Provided she’s a good girl and does nothing to impede to county’s clean up of the horrendous mess. Well considering the day after this she showed up at the sheriff’s office with a bucket of black snakes- no I’m serious- and stated the property was infested, I expect more shenanigans are planned. If nothing else, it ought to make for some fireworks of some sort when they do finally show up. And apropos of nothing- where in the hell do you get a bucket of live black snakes in the dead of winter in the mountains??? Bat shit crazy I tell you, bat shit crazy..
Miss Thing now officially has her learner’s permit. Next, the wonderful task of behind the wheel training. I really have to borrow a video camera.. So I call my nice insurance guy, no really he’s a great guy, to ask if I have to do anything, and his first response was “Holy Shit!” This from a man I have known for over twenty years and have never heard utter a single curse word. He laughed and apologized, but couldn’t help himself, he couldn’t fathom for a moment that she could possibly be that old. Tell me about it..
The Hurricane got his braces off- stage one of this lovely process. And was quite the happy boy. Until they took x-rays and realized his adult canines are literally coming in sideways. Great.. So the poor kid has to have all four of the baby canines pulled, and is none too happy about the prospect. Neither is my wallet, but I guess coughing up 400 bucks to prevent the 2 grand we’ve already spent from getting screwed up is pretty much non-negotiable. Now I just have to find the 400 bucks.. Always something, isn’t it? But I ask you; seriously, these are baby teeth we’re talking about it can’t be all that darn involved, really! Would it work if I just had him start wiggling them for an hour a day? What a racket..
The Hurricane has a girlfriend. Part of me is thinking- Oh isn’t that precious?? The other part is thinking- Oh shit, now it starts.. He’s cute and the barn door is now open sister, you’re in trouble. Yes he’s mine and I’m supposed to think he’s adorable, blah blah blah . He’s adorable. Just ask Uncle Tate and Uncle Wills.. I do give the boy credit however, he picked a winner. Cute as a button, honors student, athlete and an older woman (11) to boot.
Just had to pick the truck up from the shop today- oh great there goes another 500 bucks down the drain.. Oh goody. Didn’t really need or want that. But I suppose anti lock brakes are one of those things you really can’t get around living at the top of a mountain.
Job hunt- it sucks. The hunting isn’t so bad; it’s the rejection part. Now I do more or less have the hide of a rhino, and I realize the market is tight right now, but seriously it is indeed an employers market out there. The last interview I had, whilst listening to the duties requested I was tempted to inquire if I would also be required to balance a basket of fruit on my head and dance the fucking flamenco as well.. Perhaps I’m just too old to tolerate stupid crap, that could be it. It certainly wasn’t the suit or the shoes..
Now that everyone is bored to tears, but assured I’m alive (thank you for your kind email inquiries) go on about doing something interesting with your extra day for this year..
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14 comments:
i've always dreamed of taking a bucket of snakes into police station but lacked the courage and the bucket of snakes.
my kids braces cost $5500 each and the orthodontist did almost nothing. his assistants seemed to do all the work.
It never seems to end. Something is always going wrong and costs and arm and a leg to put right. Mine was the $3500 furnace 2 weeks ago. Oy!
We're in the midst of barces and girlfriends with our 14-year-old. SOmetimes I wonder if it wise to make him even more appealing to girls. As for the bucket of black snakes, I'm betting on a pet store.
So glad for the update! Dentists are evil. Have the Hurricane watch Marathon Man with you, the night before he's supposed to get them pulled. :) Seriously though, glad to know you are well, if not a bit poorer than last we spoke. A bucket of fucking snakes? She is a crazy old bird. I'm sending you a mongoose STAT! Good luck dealing with her, and hope the clean up is an actual occurrence. I am forced to work over the weekend again, so I am really happy about that. We could always use an effective Business Manager at the studio...
Bucket of snakes! Jeebus H., she is bat shit crazy.
I sympathize about job hunting. It is just degrading.
As for the dentist, I just gave Dr. Hunky $500 and I still owe a balance. (Yes I go to the only dentist on the planet that lets people pay on time) so I also sympathize with the dentistry pain.
Glad to hear you haven't run off to Tahiti or something with the Fuller Brush Man.
Snakes? Wow, that is one weird chic. Sorry to hear about the money leakage of late. Let's hope spring brings you some green. Tee hee.
Boring??
Novice drivers,puppy love,and bat-shit crazy neighbors bearing great buckets of snakes!
You're livin'the good life! ;)
I would have loved to see the reaction at the police station! Of course if it had been me I would be running away so f.....g fast. Isn't that grounds for certification? Her actions I mean, not my running away.
Dentists - mine keeps calling me Bill - even though I have told him its Will - though of course with a mouthful of insruments is comes out as Wooooll. But I honestly believe he's thinking my next bill that will pay for the insurance on his baby blue corvette!
And I think you could probably manage the fruit on head-foot stomping better than any other applicant. What I hate is being told, as I was not so long ago here: You're over qualified. She went on to say you really would be more qualifed to do my job. I asked her when she was leaving the post. Conversation ended quickly.
I'd get Big Ben to bless a St. Christopher's medal for the dashboard but he doesn't count any more. St Chris that is.... though maybe Big Ben too!
Billy-I think the cops tend to frown on that sort of thing. And I've noticed that myself and always thought it seemed unfair.
Gavin- Well I feel your pain honey, that was last summer's fun- new heat pump. Ouch!
Citizen- How nice you you to drop by. And that thought has actually occurred to me. As to the snakes, I'm betting those critters were home grown.
Tate- That's twisted! The kids decided we needed a mongoose the moment they heard the story, but I expect the dogs wouldn't stand for it. Working with you would be divine, however we both know that's not a climate I'd do particularly well in.
Tony- I know, boggles the mind, doesn't it? Tahiti is a thought, I just haven't found anyone rich enough to whisk me off to the south pacific.
KA- I am so hoping for exactly that!
Sling- never a quiet moment around here man..
Wills- She's certifiable all right, trust me! I get that overqualified line a lot. I think it's their way of saying you have too much experience and you're old enough that you won't take a lot of crap, so we're gonna hire someone young and pliable.. And I am pretty sure he doesn't bless things for heathens - but if he did I'd go for my namesake saint ;) Yes, I am perverse and if there is a hell I am no doubt going there.
Black snakes? In winter? I'd keep a sharp eye on that one. Yikes.
Male Offspring is pushing for his permit. He's a freshman! Please! I mean, I know he's 15, but really, isn't it customary to wait AT LEAST until sophomore year? They don't prepare you for this shit when you're pregnant.
I have to go to the dentist. We're all overdue. I shudder to think. I don't know how dental work costs so much when you have insurance, what the hell?
She probably had the snakes in her house.
Good luck on the job hunt. And the teeth. And the drivers. And the girlfriends.
Ok, who needs a cocktail?
Oh I 'll take a drink!
Your neighbor sounds like she belongs in my neighborhood, we need a crazy...besides me. Your life is far more entertaining then mine. Off to go take pictures of my animals.
CB- They don't tell you for a reason..
Lorraine- a large one, straight up I think.
Sage- y'all are more than welcome to have her, really!! I'll take up a collection for the moving van.
i'll have to remember the bucket of snakes trick..that could come in handy ...
oh man...kids teeth ...money money money..a never ending on going process...good luck with that..
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