For the three of you who care, there is an update on the general drama coming, I swear. But this was too funny to let it sit for a week until I got around to it.
Some couples play golf or whatever together, the Beast and I vote together. Romantic, I know. Anyway, we got up at the crack of dawn to go vote before I left for work. We figured there would be a wait, so I decided to bring a camp stool, get there by 5:30, pull up and drop him off while I found a parking place. We get to the VFD and the parking lot is a zoo and folks are parking a quarter mile away or more. Since he can’t walk much yet, I was still determined to drop him off and then park and hike it on over.
I pull into the parking lot and it was a total cluster fuck.. people generally being idiots and trying to invent parking places that don’t exist so they didn’t have to walk. Beastman tells me this is not working and he’s sure he can make it from a reasonable distance. So, I decide to attempt to extricate myself from the mess. Meanwhile an asshole in a Hummer and an asshole in an Escalade (both with McCain/Palin bumper stickers -naturally) decide to totally block the only thing that passes for an egress from this disaster, blissfully unaware or simply not caring that they had cut off everyone in the entire parking lot from the only exit.
After a good bit of tricky backing and turning and maneuvering I get to the point where I’m nearly out of this disaster and what happens? Another asshole in an F-150 (guess again what he was sporting on the back of his truck) cuts off my only escape route and refuses to move- in spite of the fact that even in pitch dark it’s painfully obvious there’s no where to park and no way out but the sliver of open driveway I was trying to get through.
At this point yours truly was a wee bit annoyed, so I figure the only way out is to back up a bit further on the grass and scoot along as close to the ditch line as I could. I hear a thump on the passenger side in the rear.. Not loud enough to be a car, and I know full well there’s not a single vehicle parked on the embankment, so I was naturally wondering what the hell I could have hit, as there’s not a lot of anything that passes for a light source in the parking lot I couldn’t really make it out.
The Beast, being a terminal back seat driver, had been looking behind also. Suddenly he starts laughing hysterically. When he finally caught his breath he says “Honey, you just ran over Sarah Palin!!”
Sure enough, I had creamed the cardboard cut- out of Caribou Barbie that was parked next to the big obnoxious McCain Palin sign. He then says “Really dear, I know you can’t stand the woman, but isn’t that taking it a little too far?” I proceed to go into convulsive laughter myself and managed to not only ruin my mascara due to the tears, but also manage to give myself the hiccups.
Here’s hoping it was a sign from above!!!! Have a swell election day my dears and go get yourselves to the polls!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
I'm glad the cluster fuck didn't completely deter you. I'm going to vote at 1:30 when the aide gets here to cover for mother dear. We're not a battleground state so I don't expect long lines. Although our Congressional seat, NY 20, has been the most expensively contested in the country. A GOP bazillionaire is trying to buy the election!
I've never been prouder! Girlfriend, I'm going to be laughing about this all day.
The line to my poll was a block long when I got there and the doors weren't even open. It took an hour to vote, but know what? I don't mind.
make it 4, i care too.
maybe obama will tax hummers into oblivion.
Too bad you didn't have a poster of a moose on your car.
Isn't it wonderful that we don't mind waiting. I was very early so didn't have to wait too long in the long line already there before 6 am. Everyone is so happy on the streets. It's downright cheery around here in Chicago and the weather is beautiful today. Sen. Obama lives just a few blocks from me and the excitement is crazy with the helicopters buzzing around and all. Lots of campaign workers out too. Got to get every last vote. Wow what a feeling.
I was first in line and out the door by 6:10. Yay! Your story had me laughing, thank you! I watched someone put McCain Palin signs on my parkway as I was getting ready to head off to the train. I live across from the polling place, and this happens every election, though only by Republican operatives. On my way to the car, I brought Charcoal starter fluid and some matches. Hope the asshole who left the signs, enjoyed the lantern I created to help guide them out of my neighborhood...
That's our Dora - I'm proud of you! Subtle but effective.
Please tell me you also did a burnout on it!
One can only hope. If I have to see that fucking banana comb stuck in the middle of that failed attempt at Audrey Hepburn hair....
Oh you made me laugh! I love that you hit her. Now I will smile all day. Glad you are back!
Gavin- Nope, haven't missed a vote since my 18th birthday.
Tony- I figured you'd appreciate the humor there..
Billy- I sure as hell hope he does! Or outlaws them flat out.
Sling- Well I'd have been better prepared for the situation had it ever occurred to me ;)
Jackie- Shoot, what's an hour of my time compared to the chance to get the nasty party out of the White House! Thanks for stopping in!
Tate- That's my dear brother! Well done dear, well done!
Wills- Yep, I thought the tire tracks across her face were quite restrained actually.
cb- If I'd have had the room in front you better believe I would have!
Al- Her style atrocities are yet another reason for my intense hatred..
Sage-Happy to oblige! Really!
Oh, it was definitely a sign! Yay! Yay!!!
HA! The best election day story I've heard so far! And the fact the Beast is doing OK ... thank goodness.
I guess Caribou Cardboard won't be leadin' the good people of this great land there also, after all.
That was a great story. Hope your wait wasn't too long. I waited two hours myself but I wouldn't have missed it. Of course, next time I'll vote by mail I think!
Post a Comment