I get by with a little help from my friends

don't get high with a little help from my friends anymore, unless the occasional Chardonnay binge counts... However-

I know full well I am one of those people that genuinely needs to be connected in some fashion or another to others. I need my peeps! It's just the way I am. Which is perhaps the reason why my Ohana is so large.. But in truth I'm just lucky to have so many wonderful friends, neighbors and colleagues in my life.

But to tell the truth, I tend not to vent or give the entire unvarnished ugly to many people, and to those few, rarely. Which is probably why my very public, secret blog 'o my life is so precious to me. The friends I have made here are very much a part of my Ohana as well. The fact that we've never met in the flesh really doesn't mean jack, the human spirit can connect without being right next door, or even on the same continent. Kindred spirits find one another. A professor of mine once told me that communities of the heart are created in many different ways, and if you open yourself up to possibilities, your life will be enriched ten fold. So true. Mine sure has been.

I thank you all for letting me whine the past few weeks, and for being a part of my Ohana.. Will, you rock! And cheered me up more than you'll ever know! Very musical, yes? Ironic as hell, isn't it? And I'm not even catholic..

And a special thanks to my virtual brother, and totally non-sexual crush- my one and only Tater bug- you made it all right honey and I love ya! You are the absolute best my sweet, may the Goddess always smile upon you and yours. I'll be wearing something new and red at the Christmas Parade tomorrow just for you! Thanks baby, I really needed that very gentle little kick- love ya!

Thank you all for hanging in there with me and taking care of me! Blessings and peace upon all of your houses.

Alex- I'll take 2 points for effort for $500.00.

It’s been a really crazy few days, to say the least. In spite of my hard line intentions, we gave the lost children one more week.. As my grandmother used to say “You can’t teach common sense.” How very true.

Well, best intentions, yada, yada, yada… It’s just painfully obvious that nothing has gotten through- nothing. But they have secured a place to stay as of this coming weekend, so at least I don’t have to feel guilty about that. The problems are just way larger than our capacity to fix. And fixing a problem generally also requires effort, and I’m sad to say I really am seeing none. And the fact that I caught major attitude for asking if there was a departure plan, as the agreement had been they were to be vacating as of Sunday past- you could say I am just done to death with the entire thing. Gratitude I don’t require, civility- why yes, I actually do!

But I can’t help but feel like I’m being an awful person. I want my house back to normal. I no longer wish to cook and clean for a party of eight, thank you very much. My children are pretty well over the 2 and 3 year olds trashing the house and causing a rukus, as am I frankly. I want my space back.. I have work I need to complete, deadlines on the horizon and my clients don’t care if I’m having issues at the moment.

Yeah, I guess I am being a bitch. Well, so be it, I did try, I really did…

Walk right in, it's around the back..

just a half a mile from the rail road track.

I had to laugh. While watching the turkey fry- yes Baby Sister had to fry the sucker, and it was damn good- Brother #2 said "It's been a lot of years since you sang Alice's Restaurant for me." So I did. As previously noted, my idiot savant thing is lyrics, so there we sat on the porch frying a 20 pound turkey and I sang the whole damn thing for him. Right down to the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one. Yeah, I'm weird like that.. and it's kind of a family tradition.

Excellent day, I really miss my brother.. and it was awfully nice to have the day with him, especially after the August drama. So enjoy your day too Arlo- and the rest of y'all as well..

Have an excellent day folks-

A blessing upon all your houses and may you enjoy your feast of choice with people you love. And my thanks for all of the virtual love and support the past week or so!

I actually won’t be cooking since some time in the 80’s- Chef Baby Sister and the Cranky Old Fart are doing the honors this year, Brother #2 is in town as well. Which will be lovely, we haven’t had a holiday together in the better part of a decade and change. Which does mean I’ll have to bite my tongue and be pleasant to his she-devil. Oh well, I can manage for a few hours with the help of a glass or four of wine. We made a deal Tater, I will behave, I swear! I'll be downright damn charming..

Well, time to bake a couple of pies, finish the appetizers and make with some breakfast so we can watch the parade.

Be well, be safe and enjoy whatever you may do today.

My Ohana rocks!

Obviously I was not meant to be a social worker- I’m too damn pragmatic. I expect my “Get your shit together NOW!” mode wouldn’t work real well..

But, that said- my Ohana totally rocks.. As predicted- the situation went south. The only vehicle the lost children have broke down. Crap- well we really don’t have the resources to deal with that situation at the moment. So the calls went out.. This is just more shit than we can manage alone.

Mechanic genius friend/neighbor- I managed to fix a rather large insurance problem for him a while back after kid five was born with heart problems- to the tune of about 40k- he’ll diagnose the car.

Dude I know that owns an independent car rental, I fixed an issue for him in respect to a little coverage situation for his Mom,. In truth, not a big deal, just a knowing who to raise hell with thing. He’s offering up a rental for next to nothing so they can manage getting to work and such for at least two weeks.

Old friend that’s a retired social worker gave me referrals to every resource in the entire damn region for assistance to help me in lighting a fire under their asses..

My Ohana rocks out loud!!!!!!! If nothing else I am reminded that my life has been blessed with some genuinely amazing people. Seriously- I am so damn lucky to have all these amazing people in my life.

And my virtual Ohana is equally exceptional- thank you all for the good karma! I expect we’re going to be needing it the next few days..

Yep- I'm still here..

Sorry dears- no DSL for a few days and it has been terribly difficult to find a moment to compose anything. That is if one can actually refer to me bitching as “composing” anything.. Those few moments of peace I squeeze in have had to be devoted to the paying side gigs- with one or two little forays to check on my bloggy buddies to help maintain my sense of humor.. But thank y’all for checking in, it really means more than you probably know.

I think I must be old and set in my ways.. This has been a lot harder than I thought to deal with. But then again, the dogs and kids are none too thrilled either, so perhaps it’s not just me. Baby sister and her partner lived with us for nearly four months a couple of years back while transitioning from Florida to Virginia and it was pretty easy. Hell, it was downright enjoyable most of the time, even with two extra dogs underfoot. Current situation? Not so much…

I keep telling myself that doing the right thing doesn’t mean it’s the easy thing. Rinse and repeat..

It’s been a zoo more or less. My current universe was not designed for out of control toddlers. While I’m sure not a candidate for mother of the year, I’m pretty certain my kids were never that out of control at those particular ages. And I pretty well draw the line at giving unsolicited parenting advice, as that’s pretty damned overbearing. Especially in light of the fact that I’m trying to give some common sense 101 advice to try and help these two get their act together. I fear this is going nowhere.

It appears that the answer is going to fall from the sky- even though I keep gently preaching proactive kids, get proactive- this is how you got where you are as it is.. Very, very frustrating. And I do not in any way expect guests in my home to labor away, but could you put your dishes in the dishwasher? Wipe the counter off after the cheerios and cereal or juice have gotten all over it?

I keep trying to remember that this has to be as difficult for them as well, being in someone else’s home. The only time it ever happened to me was during a huge ice storm a few years back- the power was out for a week. Boots and her family took us in, as they have doggies and such and a week in a hotel with 2 dogs just wasn’t going to work. It was fairly pleasant, if a little awkward at times, as we were trying not to disrupt their lives too much. Boots hates to cook, so I made dinner every night as a way to say thanks- made the kids help keep things clean and so on. I’m no saint- that’s not what I’m trying to imply, but a wee bit of consideration?

It will be what it will be in the long run.. and good things have come out of it. Miss Thing has had to try and learn how to deal with small humans. We have figured out that the Hurricane should have been born first, he makes an awesome older sibling. I have seen a really sweet, patient and loving side of him with the little ones that is pretty amazing. And I may well have learned that there are some things I can’t fix. But we’ll see, I haven’t given up yet.

And again, thank for thinking of me y’all!

Ohana-

Is a word that has always resonated with me, as defined by the following:

’Ohana can actually mean much more than the dictionary definition of family. ’Ohana can describe a community, a circle of friends, who share common goals and values.

Having kids, I also liked the definition in the movie Lilo & Stitch:
“Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.”

We’ve always had an Ohana that spreads well beyond the immediate family unit. Which is generally a delightful thing. Our “adopted” kids are now numbered somewhere around twelve or so. They started numbering themselves, don’t ask me why. But either way, they are always welcome and all know which fridge the juice is in and where to find the extra TP. And any number of stray adults that the kids all refer to as “Aunt” or “Uncle” -in spite of a complete lack of blood relation there.. and it’s all good.

My concept of Ohana got tested today. I got a call from a young woman I worked with many years ago, we’ve stayed in sporadic touch, and I always thought she was a good kid. We get together on occasion, but it’s not like an exceptionally close relationship by any means.

She and her husband and two kids got evicted and have been living in their car for two days.. They have no family near by, no Ohana either.. Left side of the brain would never let a child sleep in a car if I could do anything about it. Right side of the brain realizes- not mine to raise and this could turn in to a long term commitment we’re not necessarily in a position to deal with financially. Crap!!! So, the left and right got together for a conversation and decided to call a family meeting.

The Beast is all for a short term assistance mission, the Hurricane got all sad thinking about little people in such a situation, Miss Thing agreed this was a nasty state of affairs, but wanted some limits set on this situation clearly defined for her prior to any further discussion or agreement. This house is not big enough for 8 people (two of them under 5) to live for anything other than a very short period of time..

Guess who’s coming to dinner?? I spent two hours researching transitional housing programs that are available in their “last county of residence”- which is the defining criteria for such assistance. Have numbers, applications printed and such.

How far do I go here? The mom and compulsive organizer/fixer wants to take charge, but I fear that’s the wrong thing to do on multiple levels.. But conversely I fear without some strong guidance from someone (not necessarily us) this situation is going to go south real damn quick..

If it was just me it would be one thing- but I’m involving my kids and husband in this scenario.. Have I done the right thing? We decided two weeks was about as far as we can afford this either financially or in the space and intrusion department. Have I gone too far? Am I doing too little??? Aw hell- what do I do??

A stroll down memory lane..

So, the quickie reunion was mighty nice.. get your mind out of the gutters people.

A good bottle of wine and a pleasant couple of hours of catch up and recollection is a fine way to spend an afternoon. J-Man came out of the closet about 15 years ago- good for him. I was mildly amused that he was a wee bit put out that I wasn’t shocked. Umm, honey I saw that coming nearly three decades ago? But in truth most people wouldn’t have, I just did for what ever reason. He’s well, happy and living his life, it’s all good. It was a lovely afternoon.

So for Tate and EG, the lurid details of a part of Miss Dora’s tale. Why y’all need the nasty I don’t fathom..

Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.. Oops, wrong story. Long, long ago in a small college town- OK, right story. Music was always a large part of my life. Daddy was a frustrated musician, so my early childhood definitely had a sound track. Benny Goodman, Miles Davis, Cole Porter and so on and so on.. I’d sit on his lap and close my eyes and just listen and he’d ask “what instrument is that?” I was singing along with Miss Ella at about age three.. One of the parent’s restaurants had a pretty well known blues joint in the basement and I got to hear a lot of really great people that broadened my musical tastes. Then my older brothers got into music and that whole late sixties early seventies rock and folk got thrown into the mix. I loved it all, and still do.

I sang in the church choir- yes it boggles the mind. The only thing that kept me returning to church was choir, plain and simple. There was an amazing director, young, gay and full of excellent ideas. The youth choir at that Methodist church was incredible.. There were indeed people that came to services merely to hear the choir. The only thing that kept me in high school was theater and chorus truthfully, the rest of the time I was bored out of my mind, or getting stoned to try and numb the fact I was bored out of my mind..

So naturally what would Miss Dora do when left to her own devices? Well find a band or four to hang out with naturally. Knees blew out and ballet became a fond “what if” so what the hell, let’s hit the band circuit. Now the fun thing about small college towns is that bands tend to be fluid things, and all tend to party together.. Yep- I was a stage ‘ho. The Blues one night, a rock band the next, and I did Patsy Cline and Emmylou and Waylon more than once as well. And yes, I have been a Do-Wop girl too.

The boys in the bands loved me for three things- I loved music, I have this idiot savant thing with lyrics, and let’s face it, having a chick fronting gets you a little exposure. And oddly enough it really wasn’t an “attention” thing per se for me. It was just a state of joy for me to be on stage, and in truth it was in many respects not “me” on stage- just me, and the music and the other folks just came along for the ride. I was equally as happy just jamming in a living room at some communal house with 10 people that had never played together.

My voice was never anything spectacular- but people were often surprised that voice did come out of a short scrawny white chick.. I’m a natural tenor. Yes- skinny little pale girl can sing the blues. But I had fun with it, and it made me very happy.

As to the sordid drugs, sex and leather pants.. No Hat- thankfully no pictures survive that I am aware of, so don’t start.. Tate and EG, you’ll just have to bloody well call me if you want those nasty bits. And the prior year in New York? Well that would be the real collection of sordid tales. I often look in the mirror and wonder how the hell I made it out alive..

Never saw that coming-

Busy Tuesday morning.. Had lots of crap to drop at the various offices I’m freelancing for, got a flu shot, did the parent teacher conference for the Hurricane, stopped to vote.. All of which led me back to the gas station/general store at the foot of the mountain to mortgage the house to fill the tank before I head on up.

Heading out of the store I hear someone calling me by a nickname. Warning- major digression ahead- Most of my close friends can be easily marked as to the number of years we’ve been friends by what they call me. If you’ve known me quite some time and we’re close, just my first initial. Just “C”. If you knew me back when raptors roamed the earth (i.e.- before the Beast and I tied the knot) the initials of my first and middle name.. “C.C.”

Imagine my shock as I hear someone calling frantically “C.C.!!!” Huh? I see a man in a beautifully tailored suit standing next to a rather nice looking Mercedes jumping up and down screaming a name reserved only for people I know very, very well.. and I have no fucking clue who the hell this is. As the daughter would say, “Oh my- AWKWARD”

Doing the only thing I could do, I strolled on over, trying like hell to figure out who this could possibly be. No clue.. Zip, zero, nada..

So I get this huge bear hug from some guy that obviously knows me and I’m trying like hell to make a connection.. The second he let go and I looked into his eyes and was really able to really hear his voice it hit me.. JAMES!!!!!!!!! What the hell are you doing here??

James was the bass player in the first band I ever fronted for. So you’ll have to understand da hard core blues scraggly boy had morphed into some dude in a Hugo Boss suit driving a fucking Mercedes.. I wasn’t tracking. Never would have seen that one coming in a million years.

So I’m happy as hell to see this old friend. But I’m like- man, how the hell did you recognize me? Back in the “day” yours truly sported butt length hair, as opposed to the inch and a half length I roll with these days. (Yeah Tate- boggles the mind doesn’t it?) So James laughs his ass off and says “You’re still you bitch” Aren’t old friends the best thing ever??

Invited him up to the casa, but he was heading south to check out a group Blacksburg- he’s an east coast “talent scout” of sorts for a record label these day, go figure- he had obligations. But we’ve made plans for the trip back after seeing the kids play on Thursday, and are already yakking about a reunion for the old crew, just for us. I admit, just once I would like for my kids to see the Mom sing on stage, just once for the hell of it. But more than anything else, just to have a chance to sing with the boys again- they were a wild bunch, but all very, very talented and creative people, and they enriched my life a great deal just by having the chance to hang around with them.

Random chance, karma, whatever you want to call it, can sometimes come back to haunt you in a very happy way.

So, is everyone having a pleasant weekend?

It was rather a lovely afternoon here yesterday, I must say.




Hope you boys in Boston are enjoying yourselves. You could have at least posted a picture or two last night, really..

Since I'm lazy I'll just resort to some pictures of Old Uncle Bob-




Hard to see, but Bob is a very big fella.. Which is why the pictures are a little fuzzy- it's a long way back to that rock wall he's playing on. And I wasn't traipsing down to request a close up. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid people.



Poor bears- it's been so very dry, I'm afraid we're going to have an awful lot of very skinny hungry critters come spring. Very little in the way of color either this fall. I expect a lot of crashing of limbs when the ice hits..


Hope you all remembered to set your clocks so you got your extra hour of sleep! Have yourselves a lovely Sunday.

Happy Halloween!

Well, as this is the first year I wasn’t rushing home from the office to deal with getting ready- I must say it was far more pleasant..

Pumpkin disemboweled- check..

Costumes ready- check

Chili and cornbread done- check.

I have no idea why chili and cornbread became the traditional meal for Halloween- probably because I could throw it in the crock pot at 5AM and get home to get them fed, dressed and out the door prior to the sugar high.

The Hurricane is a nasty bloody ghoul –he’s going through that 10 year old boy gross stage. Miss Thing is The Pirate Queen. No wench action or such here- as she put it “I’m the bitch in charge”.. I can live with that.

Me I’m the Mom in the car waiting to get home so she can sit down and have a nice glass of wine..

Y’all have a fun an spooky evening!!!!!

My manifesto-

Cowbell got me to thinking.. She usually does.

So, I stopped to take a little time to examine a few things. Now y’all know (OK- the two of you that read my drivel) that I was indeed raised south of the Mason-Dixon line. My upbringing was full of mixed messages. Sit up straight, act like a lady, you are NOT wearing that Missy! And then there was the “you can do anything you set your mind to” message. And people wonder why I bailed on my Coming Out.. In fairness, the parents did the best they could. The world was changing awfully fast at the time, and to their credit they did try to go with their natural inclinations. But there was an awful lot of ingrained dogma they had to try and let go of.

My Mamma was a tiny little thing, and pretty as a picture, was a state skeet shoot champ and played basketball throughout high school and college. A lot of people never got her. Queen of the Valentine Court one day and practicing her free throws, or toting a gun the next. This was not exactly accepted practice at the time. Daddy was the musician that loved to cook.. go figure..

I stated I have tried to raise my children “gender neutral”.. actually it was more “do what ever makes you happy”. My aim was to give them the option to do whatever their natural inclinations led them to. Seems to have worked out thus far. But I grant you I have beat some old fashioned notions like manners into their heads.

Then I got to thinking about my own particular brand of feminism. Frankly I’m sick and damn tired of the “mommy wars” and the party line. In the seventies when I was reading Gloria and Betty I pretty much got the idea that the entire point was that we were supposed to have choices- finally. I have spent my “mom years” thus far working full time, up until a few months ago. I see both sides of the fence. There are people that downgrade the domestic arts- they’re asshats. There are people that downgrade the working moms- they’re asshats too. It’s all about choice, and often about necessity. Worry about your own life and leave everyone else alone already!

Does the fact that I tend to be a “girly girl”- yes I love my shoes, I am addicted to red lipstick, and love to get dressed up, and I frankly completely enjoy being female- make me a traitor? I think not. And I actually like men, life without them would suck.. I can also do minor electrical work, hang drywall, do general plumbing and I have my own power tools. Which side of the fence does that put me on sisters? I like the work I do, and I'm damn good at it and the fact that I do it "virtually" and not in an actual office doesn't make it any less valuable. I also really like a tidy house and a good meal served at a decent hour..


Should we not be supporting one another?

Such a lovely lunch-

It was a most excellent lunch. And a very happy day. And also a very sad one..

A brilliant meal- beautiful steak and stilton salad, excellent wine pairing as well. Happy chat, big hugs all around. Retired to the back sitting room (we're semi family, as the chef/owners of the favorite place are dear friends) and then started the talking in earnest. I so very much miss ole' Buddyboy. Once in a blue moon, you find that kindred soul that everything just works with.. That's me and the big guy. Many people never got it (ah-screw them, whatever) a rare few did.. The accusations that we'd been separated at birth might not have been that far off. To those of you that refuse to understand that a straight guy and a woman can really be the best of friends, you're morons..

Now I admit the whole having the best job in the universe thing was excellent, no doubt about it. But I'd give damn near anything just to have my best buddy back nearby. You know that one person that always gets you, and requires no explanation, finishes your sentences and always knows what's lurking in your heart- even if you might not have figured it out yet yourself.. Yeah, that's my boy.

So, once upon a time I promised the explanation of the moniker.. I'm a big fan of Robert A. Heinlein. "Time Enough for Love" being a personal favorite. Boss used to joke that I was his Dora- the machine incarnation.. If you haven't read it, it's way too much to explain you'll just have to read the damn book- sorry.. But for those of you that have- he found his Maureen ;) And I was so, so happy for them both! I planned the damn wedding people.. And lucky for us that she always understood our relationship. An amazing woman, he’s a lucky SOB to have her.

So, we stood at the back door and just both tried not to totally break down- just hung on to each other and watched it rain for quite a while. Got the best hug I’ve ever had- and cried all the way home. Not necessarily in a bad way, both happy and sad. Happy for the time together, as always- but sad to miss the just hanging out time together.. I just want my Buddyboy back.

Yes, I really am jut selfish like that.. But it is still good to know that no matter what, my Buddyboy will always be there, no matter how far away he might wander.

I bow to peer pressure..

Actually I think you guys thought I was telling stories.

Yep- purchased in 1979 at some freaky store in the Village, and yes I am pretty sure I was high on something at the time.

I hope you're all happy now? Yes- you Miss Hat.. And Tater Bug- check yer inbox and try not to die laughing!


But the spiked hair really did Pat Benatar it right on outta there.. And yes, I do totally suck at that whole tripod and timer thing, hey photography is just not my thing people.


Gee, I really need to finish getting that damn trim up in that room, huh?

I'm so lazy

I declared today a mental health day. And instead of feeling guilty about the mile long list ‘o crap that needs doing, I’ve allowed myself to realize it flat out ain’t going anywhere. It may be a bad attitude, but it’s the one I’ve currently got- so there.

Woke up to a dreary, rainy day again. YAY! I swear it’s been so dry I actually heard the woods collectively sign in relief when the rain finally set in the other day. It’s cooled off quite a bit, compared to the 85 degrees just a few days ago, so it’s a soup cooking kind of day. So there’s a nice big pot of steak and mushroom soup simmering. I got the jones for Rosemary Olive bread, so there are a couple of loaves rising. Cool, got dinner covered at least.

I am a little put out that the Thursday rerun of Tim Gunn got preempted for that dumb Housewives of OC show.. that would have indeed been the icing on my little lazy cake.

Humm.. messed around with my MacGourmet files and cleaned out some of the clutter there. Tater Bug- if you don’t have it, you gotta get it!

Moving right along- Boss is coming for a little visit tomorrow! it’s been a long while between visits and I really miss the big lug. While we talk and email, and still tend to finish one another’s sentences and all, I just miss hanging out with him. When someone you’re that close to up and moves, I think the hole in your heart never really goes away. But I’m focusing on the happy happy joy joy of seeing my dear friend bit right now- not the damn you why did you have to up and move part. Lunch at our favorite restaurant is going to be about it, as he’s got other commitments- but it’s awfully dear of him to truck all he way out here from NOVA just for lunch with little ole me.

Took the request for photographic evidence that my ass can still get into a dress I purchased in 1979 under advisement- we’ll see. Much like Cowbell and her preference that the ex not show up on her virtual doorstep, my very public private diary is sort of my place to decompress. Not sure I want my friends and family there in truth. It sometimes feel like 98% of my life consists of dealing with other people’s shit (I know, I know- Duh.. you have kids) it’s the one little space that’s all mine, all the time and I don’t have to concern myself with anything other that what I choose to.


But for the moment I’m going to pour a nice glass of wine and go park my butt in the Jacuzzi before the heathens come charging in. Y’all have a lovely afternoon!

So, how have y'all been?

My it’s been a busy few weeks here at Casa de Locos..

The usual mayhem. The ongoing fight with the school board- more on that later.. The never freaking ending renovations- which somehow seem to have landed all in my lap. Baby Sister took a vacation (finally- YAY!) Which meant me taking care of Daddy. And just stuff.

For my loyal readers, both of you- all is well, thanks for emailing. Let’s see.. renovations. As the job hunt accelerated (46 year old mothers of two with experience smell bad or cost too much I’m not sure which) I realize I best get all the odds and ends finished. Damn, that’s a LOT of odds and ends people. I spent the entire damn summer working on this stuff and there’s still a mile long list.

The getting whatever cash I can via the Virtual Assistant route.. well it is money, I just seem to always land the problem children.. I really need to set my rates higher. Have to check with the Hat and get the website thing cranking on a higher level I guess.

Homecoming- girlie drama and shoe trauma, need I say more?

Humm, let’s see.. the annual Dora cuts loose weekend.. The Beast and I do a big Halloween Costume Ball every year and that tends to be the one weekend my reformed solid citizen self gets her freak on.. Yeah, I go for the costume thing big time. And no, I can’t do out of the box, I have to go crazy.. My personal past favorite was the Trinity costume- hey I was hitting the gym big time then and it looked pretty damn good. I was lost for inspiration this year and happened to be doing a closet clean out when I ran across a black leather dress I bought in 1979 (yes you read that right) and said “Pat Benatar!!” Hey what else would a 5’5” chick with really short black hair do with a black leather dress from the late seventies I ask? Lorraine, you’d have totally loved it! Everyone in the house over 35 got it right away.

So, went forth and had big fun- Sunday brunch did require a Bloody Mary, I must confess. Get home and get everyone together and make with the quiet Sunday- which I really needed. I don’t do that party thing much these days, I’m old it takes me time to recover..

Wake up Monday morning at the usual 6:30- look out the kitchen window and see something white strewn about the right side of the yard. Humm.. well still a bit too dark out, and my ass isn’t traipsing down there during bear breakfast time to investigate. Get the kiddos to school and come back to take a look see. Well, the Hurricane had an archery target stashed under his fort and one (or more) of our teenage boy bears decided it would make a fun toy. A 3x3x1 block of solid Styrofoam mauled by a bear over a three acre perimeter makes one hell of a mess.. Ya can’t rake it and picking it up by hand is a bitch, and a leaf blower just tosses it into the woods and I fear for birds and other small critters ingesting it. Let’s just say it took all damn day and my back hurts like hell.


So, how was your weekend?

Come on out-

For all you lovely people on the left coast and in the middle of the country, on 10/27 you have a chance to let the Shrub know you've had enough!

Be there or be square folks.. Who knows, some news media might actually show up this time!

I'm supposed to trust SYSCO to feed them?

In respect to the revolting state of affairs in school lunches-

Congress is currently considering national legislation to improve the nutritional quality of foods and beverages in schools. Please sign the petition below to ask your members of Congress to take junk food out of schools by requiring the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) to update its nutrition standards for foods and beverages offered from vending machines, a la carte in the cafeteria, and in school stores on the whole campus throughout the school day.

USDA’s current school nutrition standards were developed in the 1970’s and are no longer consistent with nutrition science or current concerns regarding children’s nutrition. For example, USDA does not consider candy bars, snack cakes or French fries to be junk foods in schools.

Let's help feed them not only something better, but keep big business from mandating what goes on in our local lunch rooms! My kids pack for a reason, but for some kids this may well be the only thing close to a complete meal they might get in a day.

Now y'all take a minute to go educate yourselves now, and sign the petition while you're in the neighborhood!

No Child Left Behind??

my ass..

Misguided piece of politics, bad legislation plain and simple. Medicare D and HIPPA ring any bells folks? Another half assed delivery on an election promise. And another that hemorrhaged billions of dollars and ultimately merely ended up making things worse, far worse. I don’t know a single teacher- mainstream, special ED, ESL, any of them that think this is a good piece of legislation. I know parents of special needs kids that literally hiss when they hear those four words..

Why, might you ask do I have such a case of the ass about this? My kids got screwed- once again. Essentially we are dumbing down our best and brightest. Plain and simple.

Unless you happen to live in a county or city with excellent recourses – magnet and charter schools and such, or happen to have the bucks to send your kids to private school- you’re screwed if they’re smart and you actually work for a living.

Ok, your Mom is supposed to brag, right? Whatever, my blog, my life I’m allowed. My kids happen to have been lucky enough to get their Dad’s intelligence. We’re talking border line genius level I.Q here folks. Both have always read at least 5 grade levels ahead (no that was not a misprint peeps) Math- they both scare the crap out of me.. Miss Thing took the SAT at 12 to qualify for the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth Program- her scores freaked us both out.. Would you not think that the school system would be happy to help foster the academic careers of bright kids? Not so much.. Too damn busy worrying about getting accredited and making sure the state scores total up the right way.

Yeah, that NCLB bullshit. No resources, had to take it from somewhere.. So what programs might I ask got hit the hardest??? At least where we are- Arts, Gifted & Talented programs and non sports extracurricular activities. Nothing against the sports crowd- don’t get me wrong, the Hurricane is a major jock. But should there not be some EQUITY here????

I have had to fight tooth and nail to get the credits that Miss Thing earned at JHU on her record (at OUR expense, thank you- and that is not a cheap program people) I’ve had to bitch and complain about access to AP courses, I’ve had to raise hell with any number of principals through the years about the fact that my kids are bored out of their minds.. And this frankly pisses me off.. Why the fuck are my kids being penalized for being smart?????

Why in the hell are we NOT giving the best and brightest equal treatment? Why is there the assumption that because they are bright, they’ll shuffle through and just let the college system deal with stimulating them? This is beyond fucked up..

I see perfectly capable and intelligent kids getting turned off and subsequently tuning out because they’re bored out of their minds.. How many do we lose every year because we fail to engage these children, support their intellect and give them the right tools to let them fly??

Hey Shrub- know what? Those two smart kids will come back to bite the universe in the ass. Be afraid, be very afraid.. Two brilliant humans that have actual compassion and in spite of being dismissed by their government- they’re both going to make a difference and make someone terribly ashamed that they ended up being marginalized. Mom and Dad will sit back at that point and just smile at all the righteous indignation coming down on your ass..

Ah Vanity-

Thy name is Dora..

So, I turned 46 last month.. I have never generally been bothered in the least by birthdays. 16 was great, got that passport to freedom- car keys. 18- passport to beer and the right to vote! 21, hard liquor and credit cards.. But those birthdays that seem to bother other people- never much cared. 30? Whatever.. I was busy. Nice party, lots of good natured jokes and found out I was pregnant with Miss Thing the following day. Drama, yes, but of the happy sort. 35? Well the Hurricane spat forth upon the universe the week before, so again, whatever -other things to do.. 40? Didn’t care in the least. Nice dinner, excellent wine, but again no drama. 45? See 40.. but I got excellent, excellent jewelry.

46? That one slammed me right upside the head. Now I fully admit I can be a vain bitch. I do not depart the house unless I can not be mortified if I actually see someone I know. When I was working full time this indeed meant a proper suit or such, proper hair and makeup. These days, unless I have a meeting it means clean jeans a civilized top and good basic grooming. Don’t laugh, I see what some people stroll out of the house in folks.. Truly mortifying.

The vanity? I looked in the mirror and wondered who this woman looking back at me these days is. I’ll grant you, I’m not saying I suddenly look like the bride of Frankenstein or some such. I just look and wonder what the hell happened here. One of my nasty little secrets happens to be that yours truly does tend to make with the preventive maintenance in a major way. Sunscreen, moisturizer, checking in with the dermatologist often. OK so the good doctor is more a fear of cancer- I was the major sun bunny before we knew it was bad for you, spent every summer of my childhood on the outer banks or on the tennis court or at the farm- all sans sunscreen- and I have a family history of melanoma. I digress, as usual.

My Mamma was a stunning woman. The most repeated comment at Mamma’s memorial was “she was the most beautiful woman I ever knew” - but to her credit, those kind souls appended the statement with “Inside and out”.. I grew up with a very smart woman that spent her entire life being judged by her looks. I often wonder what her life would have been like had she been born plain. But in the time and place she was born, she managed right well for herself. But in spite of, or because of that fact, I was always expected to present myself properly.

So here I sit, at 46.. it could be worse. I got lucky in the big game of genetic lotto- I had good looking parents. But for the first time in my life, I want to go back.. Just a couple of years, doesn’t seem so much to ask.. Boots jokingly asked me the other day if I’d ever go under the knife. Wow- what a fucking hypocrite am I? Until last month I’d have said no way in hell.. Would I do scary Janice Dickerson shit? No way in hell. A wee bit of something- perhaps I would. More like Catherine Deneuve or Michelle Pfeiffer- those guys were freaking geniuses..

Ok- so the why to the problem as a whole? As stated- I’m a hypocrite. I thought I spent most of my life trying to be judged on my brains. I broke my grandmother’s heart and Mamma’s by bailing on my coming out in a very rude (in retrospect) way. But I have used the sorta pretty as a weapon. I’ve blindsided people that were just expecting some dumb debutante. I’ll qualify that- not in some trashy way people.. Folks just sometimes make stupid assumptions- it’s not necessarily incumbent upon me to disabuse them until I care to so, now is it?

Guess I’ll just let nature take it’s course. Aided by some really good sunscreen and moisturizer..